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Through the Looking Glass
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after the eponymous tale by L. Carroll
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Part Two
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And so, on the garden path walking towards
Alice was the Black Queen herself.
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I think I'll go and meet her!
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I think I'll go not towards her
but away from her.
Maybe then I'll manage to meet her.
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Where do you come from? And where are
you going? Look up, speak nicely, and
don't twiddle your fingers all the time.
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It's time for you to answer now, and
don't forget to say "your Majesty".
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I only... wanted to... see what the
garden was like, your Majesty.
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Is this a garden? I've seen such gardens
compared with which this would be a wilderness.
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And I thought I'd try and find my way
to the top of that hill.
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Is this a hill? I've seen such hills
compared with which this would be a valley.
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But... no! A hill can't be a
valley, you know. That would be nonsense!
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Is it nonsense?! I've heard nonsense,
compared with which that would be
as sensible as a dictionary!
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I declare it's marked out just like a
large chessboard! And there are the chess
pieces! Oh!... Oh-oh-oh, how interesting!
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How I wish... that I might join... this game.
I wouldn't mind being a Pawn, though of course
I should like to be a Queen, best.
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That's easily managed. You can be the
White Queen's Pawn, and you're in the
Second Square to begin with: when you
get to the Eighth Square you'll be a Queen.
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A pawn goes two squares in its first move,
you know. So you'll go very quickly through
the Third Square—by railway, I should think.
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In the Fourth Square you'll meet
Tweedledum and Tweedledee.
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The Fifth is mostly water.
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The Sixth belongs to Humpty Dumpty.
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But you make no remark?
- I—I didn't know I had to make one.
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You should have said, "It's
extremely kind of you to tell me all this".
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However, we'll suppose it said. The
Seventh Square is all forest — however,
a Knight on a horse will show you the way.
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And in the Eighth Square we shall be Queens
together, and it's all feasting and fun!
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Faster! Faster!
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- Is it still far?
- We passed 'still' a minute ago. Faster!
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- You may rest a little now.
- Why, I do believe we've been
under this tree the whole time!
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But of course, what did you expect?
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Well, in our country, if you ran
very fast for a long time you'd
generally get to somewhere else.
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A slow sort of country! Now, here,
you see, it takes all the running you
can do, to keep in the same place.
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If you want to get somewhere else,
you must run at least twice as fast as that!
Let's run!
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I'm quite content to stay here —
only I am so hot and thirsty!
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That can easily be helped.
Have a biscuit?
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Alice thought it would not be civil to
say "No", although the biscuit was very
dry, and she almost choked.
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While you're refreshing yourself, I shall
go. Keep your head up, turn out your toes
as you walk — and remember who you are!
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Good-bye!
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Oh, what's that down there?
Just like a swarm of bees!
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Of course, they were not bees.
In fact, these were elephants,
as Alice very soon confirmed.
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Though the idea quite took her
breath away at first.
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What fun! When they ask me at home how
well I liked my walk, I shall say — "Oh,
I liked it well enough — only it was so dusty
and hot, and the elephants did tease so!"
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Then Alice remembered that she was
a Pawn and had to make a move.
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Tickets, please!
And where's your ticket, child?
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Don't keep him waiting, child!
Do you know how much his time is worth?
Why, a thousand pounds a minute!
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I'm afraid I haven't got one. There
wasn't a ticket-office where I got on.
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There wasn't room for one. Do you
know how much the land there is worth?
Why, a thousand pounds an inch!
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You should have bought one
from the engine-driver.
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The man that drives the engine. Do you
know how much train's smoke alone is worth?
Why, a thousand pounds a puff!
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Then there's no use in speaking.
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And, to Alice's great surprise,
everybody thought in chorus:
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Better say nothing at all. Do you
know how much language is worth?
A thousand pounds a word!
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I hope you understand what thinking in
chorus means — for I must confess that I don't.
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You're travelling the wrong way.
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Oh, what funny river-horse-flies!
How interesting, where are they flying to?
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And that is, probably, a baobab-fly...
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But then Alice remembered she
was already on the Fourth Line,
and it was time to move on.
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To the House of Tweedledum
To the House of Tweedledee
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I hear you saying: "like fairy-tale living"
But judge for yourselves: is that easily lived?
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You can't do a thing here without being cautious,
Because of uncertainly and of obscurity,
And lack of knowledge and unpleasantness...
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Oh, it's so complicated!
And that's where the fun is!
You can't take one step here without taking care.
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How funny and strange are
the rules in this story -
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Here everything's different,
It's all somewhat "off".
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Wherever you look here,
You find only riddles!
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Wherever you look, yes,
wherever you look here,
You'll find a big mess.